Can the Second Come?

Can the Second Come?

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When's the Second Child Coming? Do I have to worry about fraternity? Is ideal corking? We have collected the most common dilemmas.

Can the Second Come?Mottу: What will happen, what will happen? Why do you want to look forward? Anyway, it'll be just fine. Everything is always right. (Miler - Doskoliиovб: The mole and the eagle) With a single seedling, it is difficult to conceive of a two-child future. If the family harmony is perfect now, then if you have a little bit of a mess with life with the child, then it is. What are we waiting for?
Although the parent is still planning on the next member of the family, there are countless thoughts in his head: perhaps not in the middle of the rut he should shave the toddler's nerves with the sibling's birth. However, if we expect a lot, the age may be too high and they may not play together.
And the financial situation of the family? When are we going to be good enough to say, well, you're not even a kid? Then there is work, career. Perhaps she lacks the kind of activity, the mental challenges, so you should work again. And then quit again? No ... Generally, will my child have to share his parents, his toys, his room? But if not, will he be alone if we are all around him?


Feelings and passions are also the main focus of your reflection. Many people have a hard time figuring out that the nasty little nurse who is now the only happiness of parents, the light of their eyes, is being overtaken by an "intruder."
Krisztina Bedх нrу talks about this:
I too went through this mental trauma when I realized that I would have a baby. With the second arrival, there were two solutions to fear at once. The birth and birth of a little brother brought about a kind of alienation from the first, because the baby is so helpless, so reliant on her mother. Not only were we two in the jacket, but three. My grandfather was slowly weaning, not sleeping the night with me. I didn't lift it when I was crying because I hadn't bored. During this time, his grandfather and his dad were found together. It was a great incentive to see this. There was something new between us that we didn't count on. I didn't have to share my love because I had twice as much love. Now we are expecting our fourth baby in December.
I know I'm going to see the youngest big boy next to the Newborn. I still see him with such an eye: how big and fancy! You can learn the principle of accepting change. This will probably make parents who are there when they need them, but we can call back if the child wants it. And once we're in the new position, it will be quite natural for us to have two children, three or so.

Yes, friends

At least in the early days. It is a fact that even though he is big here in his teens, he will almost certainly not like the idea of ​​a new kid. Just think bt! If we love somebody, we generally have no love for him or her, he or she does not get in with us. Penelope Leach psychologist, the author of The Picasso and the Little, suggests to parents that they should take a moment to try and set it up one day: bring a new partner to the house.
Justify this with the sentences that parents usually use to introduce sibling entry. "I love you so much that I can't wait to have such a great wife (child)." "I will have another wife (child) because I think it would be nice if somebody would help you (play with you)." "Of course I won't love you any less. We'll all love each other very much!"
Regardless that each of the above sentences is perfectly logical, we mean it: this is the end of the world. Don't expect your child to be happier - if you understand what you are up to. Being a brother will be less useful, and brotherly love may take years to develop. Let us now try to provide conditions that cope well with the difficulties of choosing a brother.

How do I tell?

Unless you are another year old, it's not worth talking about the new kid. At the beginning of pregnancy, we look at other babies, talk to them about their own infancy, and tell us the details only in the last third. Even if the big brother is of school age or older, we don't want to bring in a little brother too early. The parents must first process the fact and be sure of the pregnancy.
Of course, when we say "Fы", don't miss the kid. You have to tell your parents how big a change you will make in your life. It is always a good idea to take the first pictures of the baby and talk about them.
When it comes to babies or puppies, you can also help. Perhaps she looks away from it (through other families or animals), lives with less passion, thinks more willingly, and asks more boldly. Even so, the sun does not have to come from here. Create the opportunity for your child to live his or her normal life.
Strengthen what you are comfortable with, make sure there are safe points in your daily life that you will be able to cling to after your baby is born. Such as the night-time rite of bedtime, the Duluth promenade, and visits to the playhouse. Of course it's good to do these not only with your mom, but also with your dad or grandma a few times.

When the big day comes

The big one should definitely be prepared for her mother to count on a multi-day absence. To accept this, you need to know what your baby is and how fragile your baby is. Of course, you don't have to go into the bloody details, just telling you how tight your baby and mother's work are and how small they are. If you already know the gender and the name, tell the big one.
Feel the baby's body parts, feel the spring. Let's also say that the little one will not be too foolish after he gets out: many times we will have to figure out what's wrong, he won't have any teeth, and he'll sneak into the pelus. We'll be back with such a baby in a few days! We allow childhood visits to most hospitals, let us live with this opportunity, and spend at least a few minutes with the big kid.
When returning home, keep in mind that the child is waiting for us. We trust the baby to the baby as long as we welcome the baby. Bringing brotherhoods to the "old kid" as well, since now not only a baby but also a big brother was born.

Here's to the lament

The first few months can bring surprises. Children react differently to the arrival of a brother. Some will become "little babies" again, wandering, demanding baby bottles, anesthetics, and pelts. Whoa! You will soon give up these "material conditions" if you feel that you no longer have to love your parents' love and physical proximity.
It may be more violent than usual, but it rarely goes out of its way to hurt the little one, but it is better to prevent it, because a good bite or coup can cause a serious sense of guilt in a child. If, after all, it happens that a player "lands" in the mousetrap or else the big one is hurting, never tell him that he can't sin because he has to love. Think about it, has it ever occurred to us to love someone with a sense of duty!
But the time will come when we can begin to lead the child to love. When the baby starts smiling, he will almost certainly name his brother. "Do you like him? He loves his big brother!" If we are lucky enough, occasionally, the baby comes to rest in the immediate vicinity of the body. This also leads to a breakthrough. Let us not be lauded with praise, in fact, in the presence of relatives and acquaintances, we can "advertise" what the blessed luck of the little brother is.
After that, we can breathe freshly, as we have the very best sense of the possibility that the two children will find each other. Naturally, twinning has a number of lighter or harder states, ranging from the last piece of cake to rivalry at school, to adolescent brothers and sisters, "all to one another." Later, children go on their own paths, sometimes together, sometimes alone.

Often asked! Can you love them equally?

Almost certainly he would: both would go fire! However, there is a chance that two children will occasionally release other feelings. They may be contemplative, distance-wise, while the other is shitty. Sometimes it can be better, sometimes it is. There is no need to be frightened, almost all parents are overwhelmed by their feelings.

It will be impossible to run a household with two children! I'm not doing any better.

You are not alone with this! There was almost no historical age when women themselves managed and worked with large children. In big families, work was always divided. This gave birth to a special accent. Relatives often traveled to Urs to support the home of a woman with children. They could also be sure that they would not be left without help. Of course, this should not mean that relatives also take control of their hair.


If, in the later period, you are left alone with the little ones, then you will have a carry-on where the little one sleeps big while he is doing the housework or doing the "big one".

Two kids to diaper? Material bankruptcy! I get used to more parties before the big birth.

Do not do it! It is superfluous because you are very aware that the big one is not quite ready for this unless you have left the diaper by yourself. After the birth of a little brother, sometimes the kids who had just been a room cleaner will be peeing again. If you are looking for a cheaper solution, use a textile diaper - in the age of automatic washers, this is not such a challenge. If you are voting for convenience, find the type that is easiest to assign to a reluctant or hysterical big brother.

How to sleep?

It is important not to sacrifice the big one when you are small. If they had been sleeping together on the big family bed before, it shouldn't be another now. But let's get a little there. If you have slept on a larger lumpy bed so far, do not suddenly count them on a new bed. Buy (or ask for a quote) a crappy bed and wait for the kid to look for his or her own. If you want to change your big brother's sleeping place everywhere, you might not want to do so during the prenatal period.

We'll wake up each other!

It may, but is not vulgar. Interestingly, the majority of "good" sleeping children are not disturbed by the sibling's night show. Maybe he turns to the other side and goes to sleep as soon as he hears that his mother is in the middle, that is to say, comforting and comforting the baby. Of course, this requires the baby to sleep in the immediate vicinity of the mother. When the big one sleeps restlessly, it is advisable to put him or her in close proximity to the parents - for example, on a mattress next to an adult's bed. There is a mom or dad who can comfort you when you need it.

Are you in a room?

After infancy, children especially like to sleep together (in one bed or at least in a room). Educators generally do not require an outside room. The Abominable Kid - so many nursery books are more of an adult joke. Of course, there must be a place in the home where you can retire if you are lonely and have an area where personal belongings are safe. Kilda's room is more for teenagers than teenagers, but very much for them.

Can they bathe together?

Why not? Of course, do not put the baby out of the mud crib (which is called soccer) alongside a homebirth, and do not bathe together if one has an infectious disease. Always bathe an adult beside the bat, even if the little one is alone. A loophole under the surface, or hot water drained accidentally, can create the fear that a life of beige pancake will go away.

How are we going to walk together?

In this area, we absolutely must make compromises. The best thing is that the little one adapts to his big walking time, so that the big dullet can be saved in time. It is a nice solution if you do not stop the possibility of outdoor breastfeeding. If you have a small age, you can use a two-person baby carriage or buy a sister car that can be attached to the vehicle's axle (it's like a board). It is also a good idea to have one of the children "walk" in the stroller, the other in the stroller.

And what do I do with the big one while I breastfeed the little one?

She will definitely need a maternal fitness. If hunger is a bit on the playground, you can get some healthy delicacies (dried apples, boletus, sliced ​​rapeseed) for the big one. Perhaps the little one does the big thing by the time the big one has pulled himself over. However, in this situation, it is good to ask a mother to keep an eye on our fetus, because if it starts to turn bright at this time, it may not be here on the tip of the glass when we are out of breastfeeding.
Mostly, there is no helpless mother-in-law at home, but fortunately, it's easy to go global. "Worry" is more. We make some exciting games for our hands, like an exciting box filled with fresh giggles that we only use during breastfeeding. Let us have a storybook or a photo album that you can flip through with the big one. It can help if we read her about breastfeeding, or tell her how she has breastfeeded at that time.

Driving two? This is impossible!

Authentic danger, the parent cannot be insecure or lenient here. All children should be locked in a safety seat from the outset. So not physically, you can use the elements of mood to reverse the order of the car. Many babies especially enjoy traveling. Naturally, when you are hungry, stand up and breastfeed. Don't refrain from asking for help while refueling, never leave your child (ren) in the car.
Reading: Dr. Richard C. Wolfson: Little Brother's Birth - Managing Sibling Conflict (Alexandra Edition)
Rendzta W. Ungvбry: My little sister is born! Published by the Hungarian Breastfeeding Association.Related articles from brothers and sisters:
  • The second child can come!
  • 5 things you are sure to do with your second child
  • You're a kid because you're alive!