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The psychologist answers

The psychologist answers

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In our box, we are a psychologist, a mother of four with children asking for inquiries. Zsuzsi is struggling with guilt because she wasn't paying attention to the baby's needs in the first few months.

Did I mess it up?

Dear Judit, My little boy is half-hearted, but unfortunately I only told him three months ago that it was enough. Until then, I tried to feed strictly, according to my lord, to make sure I had enough milk and to sleep in the room. Even though I couldn't let go of it, I always tried to reassure it, which turned into a full-day nap. But I also got her cold and warm from her pediatrician, relatives, to give her a treat and see who would benefit. Finally my guard told me to listen to my urges. Since then, everything is much easier, but as I began to read (The Continuum Principle, The Needful Love Books), I realized how much extraordinary devotion I had to Milan. I know how terrible the first three months have been, and that leaves a definite impression. Did I mess it up? ZsuzsiDear Zsuzsi,
I want to reassure you that you haven't broken it in the end! Children are resilient and able to breathe in what they have been suffering from - assuming they soon get the body height that satisfies their needs, the care and the many stimuli that the mother (father, body) needs, And awesome for them, but exciting and interesting. If you're three months old, carry a lot, talk to it, breastfeed it, and don't expect it to "behave properly," your soul will recover.
Many have told you that if you pick up the child many times, you will find out who will benefit. This approach is very widespread in Western culture. But just look at the message! If you love someone and you give yourself to him, you take advantage of him, you get involved! Beware, it's dangerous to love someone, it's dangerous to trust them! That's a completely neurotic, sick idea!
Imagine a young adult struggling to maintain a long-term relationship. He tells the story to a psychologist who, after several years of life, realizes that his patient's problem is: he does not trust any of his current partners because he is afraid that he will come back. What does the psychologist say to this? That this problem must be addressed. It's not normal, it's not healthy. Patient! And we all accept that.
How is it that society considers this state of mind abnormal in the relationship than it does in the area of ​​relationship with the infant? For decades, she expects her mother to develop a sick relationship with her children. He thinks it is wrong to buy a baby with unconditional love fulfill your needsthat trust them. Originally treats the baby as a malefactor who is ready to leap to watch where the parents are born, which he immediately exploits and manipulates them.
"If all goes well, that doesn't mean you don't have to be on the go!" Dr. Eduard Estivill and Sylvia de Bjar Sleep, baby! cнmы book. Or Tracy Hogg says in the Whispering Secrets: "He's just a baby, the lover of the old man. He doesn't know what's good for him or what."
These are the words of a sick, paranoid society. It is the task of the new generation to recognize this and get rid of the harmful attitudes. It is very hard work, it causes many parents to become tired and even guilty, just like you. Believe it, you are not alone, many have been "spoiled". I, myself, told my trapped child how trapped we were. You only needed three months. Gratulбlok! And lots of greeting, portability, and confidence in your time!
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    6. Dedric


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