Penalty - reward

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When I got a slap from my father, I asked, "Papa, why did I get this?" And if he said, "Because you messed up the cob," I knew that answer wasn't true. I shook the cob out of my carelessness: you don't have to beat someone.

Penalty - reward

If our child does something that we do not think is right, our goal is to stop it as soon as possible. If you have more than one question, let's deal with "why" first! Why don't you want to plug the iron into the socket? Because it's dangerous. The truth is: this must be forbidden and even prevented! But why do you want to get up early at night? Because you woke up early in the morning, slept on sleigh, and did you find that you were tired of it? All right: the child has a place in the bed, we have to create the conditions for a good night's sleep, and we have to stick to our decision, it is doubtful whether it is worthwhile to punish the little one if he does not want to remain in bed again. After all, he does not malign, just simply does not blur. Therefore, instead of quarreling, scolding, punishing, you need to look for a temporary solution, such as recording a movie. And what if you stumble into the kitchen with your feet? Is the neck broth or yelling correct? Would we have been hanging out with him the same way if we weren't just washing up? Would we hit the same patella if the bastard hadn't cried first? Do you know poorly that you did wrong? Have you noticed that your boots are dirty? Could it be that you rushed through the apartment for a really urgent matter? Before we scold you, before you punish, it's worth asking: I do it in my true interest this? Was he really the sin? If so, please be aware that children and parents alike need limits on the introduction of meaningful rules. But it's very important how we do it.

Punishment or example?

Why does the child obey? Why are you killing yourself? There are several possible reasons for this. One is that he is afraid of punishment and that he is seeking reward. This behavior is natural to the smallest: it is so simple around the world at the age of one. But if we were to rely solely on this "method of working," we certainly wouldn't lose sight of learning how to behave properly in other situations. It will only be "good" as long as you have the option of punishment or reward. The punishment does not actually stop the creator from "maligning", but suppresses it. In addition, we can easily get stuck with increasingly serious crimes, which often fail to produce the desired effect. Most start out on this long distance identify with their parents, with family values, are seen as examples of behaviors experienced at home. And here you have to take care! The child does not speak because he lacks the necessary life experience. Х everything utбnozwhat he saw from his parents: a decent meal, as well as a truffle, an insane speech, or a hysterical fight! With a child, you cannot harm a parent by drinking wine and drinking water!

If the values ​​are internal

As the years go by, more and more behaviors are believed to have been inherently difficult to achieve. In order to prevent the boy from filtering the sand in the eyes of his companion or jumping on him when he took the shovel out of hand, the parent had to be directed, rewarded and punished at first. There is no need for this anymore: you accept that you shouldn't be hurting others. This process is stronger the more you love, respect your parents, and the more credible your behavior. There is no need for an external reward. The reward comes from within: this is appreciation.

How are we?

Maybe not. But in some situations, especially in the early years, there are not many parenting tools in the parent's hands. Punishment is sometimes inevitable. Of course, not only beatings or bans on fire, but also rebuke, are punished. The punishment is effective only if it occurs immediately after the "crime" or even the "thought of sin" (that is, before the "malpractice"). The minor misdemeanor: the kid has no idea why he got it, he doesn't even remember what his sin was. "Well, I'll tell Dad when he comes home!" type of approach. I do not recommend this either, because the father's role in the family is not to represent the power, but rather to provide security, peace of mind when it comes to having a lasting day in Hungary. It is just as easy for a child to consider the whole thing as "abusive" as a parent. Let's stop this for a while: malice. She has been shown in quotation marks so far because she doesn't have such a currency. There are certain behaviors that are undesirable in that situation. We need to talk about these when we scold him. "I'm mad at you because you spread the jam on the armchair armrest!" "I'm cool because you're playing football in the room again!" This is how the child can identify what to do next. There is nothing he can do to "not be bad!" In fact, it will make you wonder what all of this is about. Well, that's what fate is for the parents!

The art of reward

If we live with the rewarding educational effect, we will only reward the behavior that we really want to strengthen it. Number - we might think - who the fool who rewards malice is! Uh ... We are a little sick. Imagine the following: the seedling beats the table because it does not want to eat the crusty bread. It requires honey. After a while, almost every mother says to herself, I don't listen to this hyster any more, eat what she wants. As soon as we put the honey bread down, we've been rewarded with hysteria, even if we head off in the middle. Let's see another case. Our child wants to be the center of attention everywhere. You will soon learn that this is the best way to get rid of it if you get angry because we are reluctant to listen to it. In this case, the parent also rewards the scold: the little march has achieved its goal and attracted attention. Most mothers are very good at recognizing this method. You need to be alert and stop this behavior in the shortest possible time. At the same time, we also have to think - especially when these scenes are repeated - whether or not we get enough attention (and "quality") in our "goofy" way. What matters, however, is how we get started. Don't Give Items (Play, Fun, Money): It's New educational trap leads. The subject only rewards the moment. The parent has to come up with new and new items to keep the behavior in question. But he still won't be successful, as most kids will soon be "saturated." Objects lose their rewards. They are boredom, they are burning on the shelves, and slowly there is no such thing as a toy in the gaming industry that excites interest. It is better to receive praise, distinguished attention and reward. But praise must also be wisely treated.If a child (or an adult) praised all the time, it can be boring too. We also know that rarely a commendable teacher or a supernatural person is more willing to speak for himself, and his appreciation is of great value to us. There is no need to bring the reward into the crowd. After a while, it doesn't matter if the child feels it: it is natural to behave well.Related articles:
- Yes, you can educate without punishment!
- Do you mind or not?
- So praise your child!

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